Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I Want My Monkey-Man

The cover of D&D 4th edition's latest hardcover, Player's Handbook 2, says it introduces "primal heroes", and yet there is no sasquatch player race detailed within.

There is also no writeup for the yeti. The yeren does not get the player race treatment. Entries for almas, yowie, and orang-pendek are likewise absent.

This was Wizards of the Coast's big chance to introduce bigfoot adventurers into the game, and they blew it. "Primal heroes" my ass - we got rules for wolfmen, catmen, rockmen, angelmen, orcmen, and freakin' gnomes, but no gigantopithecines?! Preposterous!

Obviously, it's now up to me to provide D&D players and DMs with the character race for which they've been clamoring... eventually. Or, y'know, not.


  1. I haven't seen the book, but are the Goliath stats fairly bigfoot-ready?

  2. Well, this post was written mostly in jest, but if I was being honest with myself, yes, the goliath stats are easily reskinned as a sasquatch.

    One Bad Egg's "Apelord" PDF also would make a good monkey-man. There's a decent race called the zain-kin in Goodman Games' Dungeon Denizens book, too.

  3. i can think of no one better qualified to create such races. on second thought, that other great DM, Father T. (Ryan), also possesses a pretty keen interest in primeveal man... but he's knee-deep in post-doccing, so you're gonna have to deliver.

  4. I, too, want my monkey men. Wizards, WHERE IS YOUR GRODD NOW?